Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Devouring the dark delight; not dirty dining

I'm back. Back in black. Speaking of such, why did McDonald's stop including dark meat McNuggets? Who thought that was a good idea?

"Hey guys, I have a really great idea, let's take away the most interesting part of the classic McNuggets experience!"

"You mean no more errant mice organs?"

"No, take out the dark meat, no one really likes that, right? Just grosses people out."

Maybe it grosses out you folks that don't like to get your hands dirty, but enjoying dark meat McNuggets were akin to being a raj served exotic delicacies by gorgeous harem girls content delight in quenching my gastronomical desires. I'd open up the box with my friend Matt and we'd hunt for that one dark nugget to put aside, crack 'em open just to check. And if we didn't get one in the pack, we felt cheated. "The gall! No special nugget? I want a refund!"

White meat better than dark meat? Racist! Or something. Something offensive. Catalyst: McDonald's put out an ad campaign flaunting their all-white meat nuggets and real chicken ingredients. Understandable as fast food is all about trust. Trust that any McDonald's you walk into will have the same tasty, safe food. You're not gonna get food poisoning or be ambushed by renegade flavors--fast food chains are about consistency. You can't say the same of of most food on the go. Many people view food carts as safe as spelunking. Wow, it's great to use spelunking in consecutive sentences.

McDonald's will probably never bring back dark meat McNuggets as they undoubtedly have a sophisticated screening process that visually compares the meat to the hue of chiclets. But, like all patches of nostalgia, this article will one day date me. I'll be that dinosaur pining for the days when McDonald's used fattier, more cholesterol-tastic meat.

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