NEW YORK, NY—Famed beat poet Allen Ginsberg arose from the grave yesterday evening according to eyewitnesses. At around 1:30am Thursday, Gregg Jenkins, a cemetery worker recollected from a hospital bed. “It was awful. He just kept mumbling and mumbling, repeating the same things over and over again. Something about a flying squirrel and Marx. I don’t think I can ever go back.”
The corpse of Ginsberg wandered from the cemetery to the Tap and Cap, a bar in the East Village. There, he was lauded up to the stage (where without the working digits, due to rotting flesh) to hold up any sort of print volume, he continued to mumble under his breath in what we think was about "the lack of concise, civil, peaceful debate in any realm of post-modern human interaction, especially politics." The crowd loudly applauded before huddling around the microphone for autographs. Ginsberg could not oblige because of the aforementioned non-functioning hands.
He was last seen in what we think was "lamenting the continued lack of true freedom of expression without fear of repression and the intrinsic inequality of such barbarism" at the NYU International Forum and Show for the Poetically Departed.